GlobeofBlogsSanta-Banta SMS collection!!!
Petrol ke rate badhne par Santa bola: "Menu koi farak nahin penda. Pehle bhi 100 ka bharwata tha ab bhi 100 ka bharwata hoon."
*****
Santa: Yaar mein apni girlfriend nu gift dena hai, ki devan?
Banta: Gold ring de de.
Santa: Koi vadi cheez das yaar.
Banta: Tan fer MRF da tyre de de.
*****
Banta ek sadhu se bola: Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao.
Sadhu: Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?
*****
Nurse: Congrats Santa ji, aap papa ban gaye.
Santa: Meri wife ko nahi bolna mein use surprise dunga!
*****
What's Ford?
Santa: Gaadi.
What's Oxford?
Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi.
*****
Q: A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains? "
A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao."
*****
Santa: "Kitna padhey likhe(qualified) ho?"
Banta: "B.A."
Santa: "Saala, 2 akshar padha, woh bhi ulta?"
*****
Santa: Bhaisahab time kya hua?
Man: Sham ke 6 baje hain!
Santa: Sala, subah se pooch raha hoon, sab alag alag time bata rahe hain.
*****
Santa ke bagiche mein bahut sare ped - paudhe thay, Santa naukar ko bola ped-paudhon ko pani dal.
Naukar: Sahab baarish ho rahi hai.
Santa: Abe to Chatri leke dal.
*****
Banta: Truck dekhkar tum kaampte kyon ho?
Santa: Ek truck driver meri biwi lekar bhaag gaya tha, har baar lagta hai jaise usko vapas karne aaya hai.
*****
Santa: Do you know English?
Banta: Yes
Santa: Ok! Then tell what is the opposite of NAAG PANCHAMI?
Banta: So simple Yaar... NAAG DO NOT PUNCH ME
*****
Lady doctor: tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade ho kar aurto ko kyon ghurte ho?
Santa: ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai "aurton ko dekhne ka samay subah 10 se 12"
*****
Santa ki shaadi ek nurse se ho gayi.
Banta: Aur santa, kaisi nibh rahi hai?
Santa: Pooch mat yaar, jab tak sister na kaho, bolti hi nahi.
*****
Girl: Will u marry me?
Santa: No, humare yahan shaadi sirf relatives mein hi hoti hai. Mummy ne Papa se, Didi ne Jijaji se aur Bhaiya ne Bhabhi se
*****
Santa joined NASA. After one month the Americans had to change the name from NASA to SATYANASA
*****
Santa walks into a library & says, "Can I have a burger and coke?" Librarian, "I'm sorry, this is a library." Santa whispers, "Can I have a burger & fries?"
*****
Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage.
Banta: He probably got a lot of applause ven he got out.
Santa: I didn't say he got out.
*****
Santa (reading from book of facts): "Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?" Banta: "Why don't you use a mouth wash?"
*****
How do you recognize Santa's son, Pappu, in School?
A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.
*****
Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.
Banta: Santa u'll die.
Santa: U'll die bcoz haven’t u heard train is coming on platform.
*****
Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication.
Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman.
*****
Santa: I’m a proud father. My son is in medical college.
Banta: What’s he studying?"
Santa: He's not studying, they are studying him!
*****
Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about u?
Banta: Me too, after u leave.
*****
Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.
The judge: What'll you take 30 days or Rs 3000.
Santa: I think I'll take the money.
*****
Why did Santa take his pregnant wife Jeeto to Pizza Hut?
A: Because they advertised: 'Free Delivery'
*****
Santa opened a petrol pump, but not even one customer went there. You know why?
Because he opened petrol pump on second floor.
*****
Why did santa keep the door open while bathing?
Because he was afraid that someone might watch him from the key hole
*****
History teacher asked Santa: Name kalidas's brother who was a shoemaker.
Santa: Adidas
*****
Titanic was sinking.
An englishman asked Santa, "How far is land"?
Santa: 2 KMs.
Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction?
Santa: Downwards!
*****
How did santa tried to kill a bird??
He took it to the top of a building and dropped it from there to die.
*****
Santa was drawing money from ATM. Banta, who was just behind him in the line said: I've seen ur password. It’s ****. Santa: U r wrong. It’s 1394
*****
Santa falls in love with a nurse... After thinking deeply, he finally writes a love letter to her: "I luv u sister."
*****
Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?
Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.
*****
Santa: Yaar mein apni girlfriend nu gift dena hai, ki devan?
Banta: Gold ring de de.
Santa: Koi vadi cheez das yaar.
Banta: Tan fer MRF da tyre de de.
*****
Banta ek sadhu se bola: Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao.
Sadhu: Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?
*****
Nurse: Congrats Santa ji, aap papa ban gaye.
Santa: Meri wife ko nahi bolna mein use surprise dunga!
*****
What's Ford?
Santa: Gaadi.
What's Oxford?
Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi.
*****
Q: A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains? "
A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao."
*****
Santa: "Kitna padhey likhe(qualified) ho?"
Banta: "B.A."
Santa: "Saala, 2 akshar padha, woh bhi ulta?"
*****
Santa: Bhaisahab time kya hua?
Man: Sham ke 6 baje hain!
Santa: Sala, subah se pooch raha hoon, sab alag alag time bata rahe hain.
*****
Santa ke bagiche mein bahut sare ped - paudhe thay, Santa naukar ko bola ped-paudhon ko pani dal.
Naukar: Sahab baarish ho rahi hai.
Santa: Abe to Chatri leke dal.
*****
Banta: Truck dekhkar tum kaampte kyon ho?
Santa: Ek truck driver meri biwi lekar bhaag gaya tha, har baar lagta hai jaise usko vapas karne aaya hai.
*****
Santa: Do you know English?
Banta: Yes
Santa: Ok! Then tell what is the opposite of NAAG PANCHAMI?
Banta: So simple Yaar... NAAG DO NOT PUNCH ME
*****
Lady doctor: tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade ho kar aurto ko kyon ghurte ho?
Santa: ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai "aurton ko dekhne ka samay subah 10 se 12"
*****
Santa ki shaadi ek nurse se ho gayi.
Banta: Aur santa, kaisi nibh rahi hai?
Santa: Pooch mat yaar, jab tak sister na kaho, bolti hi nahi.
*****
Girl: Will u marry me?
Santa: No, humare yahan shaadi sirf relatives mein hi hoti hai. Mummy ne Papa se, Didi ne Jijaji se aur Bhaiya ne Bhabhi se
*****
Santa joined NASA. After one month the Americans had to change the name from NASA to SATYANASA
*****
Santa walks into a library & says, "Can I have a burger and coke?" Librarian, "I'm sorry, this is a library." Santa whispers, "Can I have a burger & fries?"
*****
Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage.
Banta: He probably got a lot of applause ven he got out.
Santa: I didn't say he got out.
*****
Santa (reading from book of facts): "Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?" Banta: "Why don't you use a mouth wash?"
*****
How do you recognize Santa's son, Pappu, in School?
A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.
*****
Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.
Banta: Santa u'll die.
Santa: U'll die bcoz haven’t u heard train is coming on platform.
*****
Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication.
Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman.
*****
Santa: I’m a proud father. My son is in medical college.
Banta: What’s he studying?"
Santa: He's not studying, they are studying him!
*****
Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about u?
Banta: Me too, after u leave.
*****
Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.
The judge: What'll you take 30 days or Rs 3000.
Santa: I think I'll take the money.
*****
Why did Santa take his pregnant wife Jeeto to Pizza Hut?
A: Because they advertised: 'Free Delivery'
*****
Santa opened a petrol pump, but not even one customer went there. You know why?
Because he opened petrol pump on second floor.
*****
Why did santa keep the door open while bathing?
Because he was afraid that someone might watch him from the key hole
*****
History teacher asked Santa: Name kalidas's brother who was a shoemaker.
Santa: Adidas
*****
Titanic was sinking.
An englishman asked Santa, "How far is land"?
Santa: 2 KMs.
Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction?
Santa: Downwards!
*****
How did santa tried to kill a bird??
He took it to the top of a building and dropped it from there to die.
*****
Santa was drawing money from ATM. Banta, who was just behind him in the line said: I've seen ur password. It’s ****. Santa: U r wrong. It’s 1394
*****
Santa falls in love with a nurse... After thinking deeply, he finally writes a love letter to her: "I luv u sister."
*****
Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?
Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.
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